Today is Easter. I don’t have a relationship with extended family members, so I always spend holidays with my son and friends.
Every holiday still has some sadness. But as the years go by, my sadness has evolved. I no longer crave to be around the people who treated me so bad. I no longer want to mend the relationships with them. I no longer feel like such an outsider when I spend holidays with friends. I think my sadness now is more about my lost holidays and the time I spent not understanding what was happening to me. In a way, I think it’s grief.
I truly enjoyed my holiday until I came home for the evening.
Anyway, I arrived home, and I’m just putting away my Easter food, candy, etc. I heard loud voices, but I couldn’t tell if it was children playing or people having a party, etc. I looked the thru the blinds and I could see two adults. I walked over and opened the door because the female started screaming. I look over and right in the middle of the road is a man standing over a woman on the ground and punching her over and over. She is yelling stop. A neighbor male came out of his house and said “Stop man, that’s not cool.” and then he got in his car and left. (Head slap moment) I started screaming at him to stop. He said, “I’m going to kill this Bxxxx”. I was calling 911 and screaming at him at the same time. Thank God I called them because I was so mad that I was ready to jump him myself.
I live in a very small town, so the police arrived in minutes. They saw the girl first and started to question her. The guy had gone back into his house. She starts telling the police that nothing happened to her, etc. He was eventually arrested, and the girl left with one of the police officers.
In the past, this would have triggered PTSD symptoms and maybe set me back for days. I would have been sad, and spiral into depression while replaying the memories of my abusive ex-husband and how I let him mistreat me.
Instead, I felt zero fear! With all the adrenaline and anger I had going on, I think I could have taken him.
Thankfully, my wisest adult-self decided that it probably wasn’t the best idea to get in the middle of them since I had no idea if he had a weapon on him or not.
It’s interesting to me that two other men saw this happening and did nothing except make a stupid comment. I will never understand the part of society that feels it’s better to do nothing. It’s almost like they are victim blaming by just doing nothing.
Anyway, I’m ok if they see me as the neighborhood snitch. No man will ever beat a woman in my presence. That being said, I would do the same if a woman was hurting a man. No one has the right to hit anyone, ever. Period.
I believe this was a learning experience for me.
I learned that I am healing and growing. No better day than Easter Sunday!
Until next time – I am being MJ every day!