I finished my day yesterday thanking God for my great new job and being grateful for the people in my life.
As I laid down for the night, I felt peaceful and calm.
I dozed off for a bit and woke up yelling really loud. I’m not sure if I had a bad dream or exactly what happened. This happened several times during the night.
The last time was about 4 am. I woke up yelling and immediately started crying.
This is PTSD. No rhyme or reason. There doesn’t have to be anything stressful going on in your life.
I managed to pull it together much faster and better than I ever have before.
With the 4am tears comes shame and a little bit of anger. Sleep is done. I’m up for the day.
I think I’m finally getting it together and then I end up feeling so small and confused.
Obviously I still have things to work on.
As I’m going thru the day, I’m feeling tired and frustrated.
I’m ready for peaceful nights, and loving myself, even if I’m crying out loud.
Until next time – I am being MJ every day.