Day 85 – Holiday Haunts

I’ve been quiet. Not blogging because getting thru the holidays is a job in itself.

Between working two jobs and not feeling well, this past two weeks have been miserable.

Holidays in my family usually consisted of some type of drama and for many years it included sexual abuse.

Getting extra attention from a male relative is “cute” and should make you feel special. Everyone notices and comments from time to time, but no one is suspicious.

Why wreck a family get together by suggesting that someone is innapropriate?

Just keep the silence. Just keep the peace. It is your job. It is your responsibility.

As the holidays pass without the traditional family gatherings, the guilt adds to the haunting memories that gather around your quiet time. Sleep time doesn’t exist.

Even drinking alcohol doesn’t drowned the memories.

I woke up this morning being thankful that it was the 26th and we could move past this time of the year.

Healthwise I have some challenges that are contributing to the lack of energy and sadness that has been swirling around in my heart.

I’m missing the enthusiasm I had to heal from this disorder. I’m missing the passion to change the way I feel about myself.

It feels like a vacuum. It feels like a tidal wave. Like a black hole.

I’m praying that I can get back to the business of wellness.

I’m praying for me all the time. Would you join me in those prayers? Not only for me, but all who are trying to heal their broken hearts?

Until next time – I am being MJ every day.

4 thoughts on “Day 85 – Holiday Haunts

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