Day 62.5 – She’s Here – Part 2

Previously on Day 62 – After  a long weekend of arguing and fighting, she left the narcissistic 2nd husband.  After a few hours of driving, he talked her into coming back home to try to make amends.  When she arrives, he is on the phone saying , “She’s here, She’s here!”.  He tells her that he called the police and she runs.  The police catch up to her as she is attempting to hide in nearby shrubs.

Part 2 – The story continues as the officers help to lift her up to her feet and let her know that she needs to come with them.  She does so with a nod of her head.  She knew what this meant.

She would be going to some sort of facility for at least 72 hours.  But first, they had to stop at the local police station.  In this very small city, there were probably only  a few deputies on duty and only one person in the police station.

The took her into a very small office and asked her what happened.  She explains that Dr. Johnson is not a physician but a scientist who aims to control his wife in every way possible.  The officers nodded, almost in disbelief.  Why would any man lie about his wife being suicidal if it wasn’t true? After a few questions, they left her to sit alone in this room for what seemed like hours.

Two more gentlemen enter the building.  They are from a psychiatric hospital in Tampa.  Again, they say, “Come with us”.  She enters the large white van and the door slams and locks behind her. She has no idea where they are headed.

After about 45 minutes, they arrive at a small private hospital.  The door opens and they escort her in.  She still can’t see the name of the hospital.  A woman escorts her to an intake office and MJ becomes a patient with no control or say over her own life.

Since it was Friday night, the doctor wouldn’t be in until Monday.  All that MJ can think is that she doesn’t want to miss work on Monday for fear of losing her job and her only sense of self-esteem.

Early Saturday morning she is awakened and instructed to go to breakfast in the dining hall.  She says she’s not hungry, but it doesn’t matter.  She had to go anyway.

Breakfast, group therapy, medication, lunch, group therapy, dinner, free time, more group therapy.  The weekend was a blur.

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On Monday morning, a nurse tells MJ that she will be seeing a psychiatrist for evaluation soon.  She calls work and pretends she is sick and can’t make it in.  They buy it.  Dr. Milian arrives around 10 am and is incredibly sensitive and sympathetic of her position. He asks MJ what she feels she needs to do.  She says she just wants to go home and decorate her Christmas tree.  The doctor agrees and asks the husband to come and pick her up and have a short conversation with him.

As the meeting starts, MJ pretends she has 100% love and respect for her husband and can’t wait to get home and “make up”.  Dr. Milian agrees and they leave the hospital together.

In the car, MJ tells EJ that he is the biggest asshole ever and throws her wedding ring in his face.  He didn’t seem surprised, but again threatens to take her back.

This was a life changing event in a few different ways.  Number one, Dr. Milian was an amazing, kind, gentle man, and he was able to help her to sort out what her next move would be.  He introduces her to a marriage counselor, who also would eventually help her to change her view of the situation and gain the courage to leave.

Marriage counselor Keith, asked her to come back to therapy alone, after a few visits that included EJ.  He said to her,  “MJ, I want to you to run as far away from this man as you can, and don’t ever look back.”  And she did exactly that.

This was the first time in her life that she was able to stand up to an abuser and try to stand on her own.  It actually took her two more years to eventually get the divorce but she did it.  MJ was now a single mother, and independent for the first time in her life.

If you have never been thru a co-dependent or abusive relationship, you can’t imagine why she would have stayed.  But the truth is, after all the these years, she was still trying to get someone’s approval.  She just wanted to be loved.  She just wanted to know she mattered.  Unfortunately, this was the end of her second marriage and now she felt only that she truly was a failure when it came to being a wife and mother.

She was just being MJ everyday day.

 

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