Saying goodbye to your Mother for the last time is something you think will never happen.
The whole event was so traumatic and sudden. It’s one of those things you try to mentally prepare for but emotionally you can never prepare for.
Taking her off of life support was awful. We expected her to pass immediately but she breathed on her own for three more hours.
My brother and I were at her bedside. It was agonizing.
When we left the bedside for the last time, I sat in my car for hours.
For that short period of time, I was her little girl. But at the moment her life ended, I had to go back to my future.
I have to return to recovery. I have to return to finding purpose. I have to return to becoming the best me.
Grief hasn’t really hit me. I’ve been so busy with the funeral and family and friends.
Tomorrow I will return to work and try to get back into a routine. Im hoping that I can handle the grief a small portion at a time.
The funeral was full of reminders of my past and the last two nights have been hell.
I’m taking it one small moment at a time because a day at atime would be too overwhelming.
Until next time – I am being MJ every day.