Day 22 – Rebuild It.

About a mile from my house, is a large building that imploded last year when Hurricane Irma came thru.

I had already seen massive destruction in Houston during Hurricane Harvey.

I’m thinking, as I’m driving to work each day, that I really don’t need to see this reminder every single day.

But yesterday I started to look at the building and felt like I could relate to it.

We both imploded a year ago. We both have collapsed with little or nothing left on top of our foundation. We both had very high walls that no one could see in. We both cannot rebuild from the shattered materials that have been tossed around.

The only thing that can help us now is to tear ourselves completely down and rebuild brick by brick.

This means that we will need new bricks. We need new wood and nails. We need new electricity and plumbing. And lastly, we would need new paint and landscaping.

This year I’ve been picking up new bricks and removing the old bricks one by one. I had to find bricks with love and forgiveness in them. I’ve had to find new wood and nails made of strength and courage to rebuild my walls. I’ve had to repaint and refinish my outsides because it was time for me to remove the old faces of pretending to be someone that I wasn’t.

These changes have taken a lot of self-talk and removing labels from that little child who keeps finding blame in herself. Hearing only the words that hurt so badly time after time.

There are days when the rebuilding is so exhausting. There are days I want to let it all fall back down. At least then, I would already know what to expect since my structure was never really secure anyway.

I’m have a team of carpenters to help me rebuild. And my foreman (Mrs. A) will make sure I complete my project inspite of any more bad weather.

What I have to do know is rest and believe in the rebuilding of my life. Putting together a new heart and soul. One that made of trust and love for myself.

Only then can I rebuild it and make it what it should have been from the beginning of me.

Until next time – I am being MJ every day.