I really felt like my happy story was ending in 2009 when I lost my dream job in Miami. The economy was in a slump and being laid off was not uncommon. I had to return home to Lakeland and move in with my son. It truly was one of the worst times of my life, or so I thought.
I had no idea that I’d be laid off two more times shortly after. After finding a permanent job and getting three promotions over the last 6 years, I thought I had finally made it to my happy place. I figured the rest of my life would be smooth sailing.
Then my brother died. Again I went thru what I thought was the worst time of my life.
Once again, I bounced back to smooth sailing thru life.
When I was stuck in Houston during Hurricane Harvey, I couldn’t wait to get home and forget the sights and sounds of devestation.
After returning home and starting to have this symptoms of PTSD, I was shocked. I just couldn’t believe that there would be a reason for me to have anymore pain or trauma in my life. I thought after a week, I would return to my smooth sailing, every day routine way of life.
Never, ever did I dream that a year later I would still be struggling to keep my head above water.
It’s hard for me to feel like I will go back to smooth sailing. And maybe I wont. Maybe I’ll be a different person now.
I’m trying to believe that the new me will be better and stronger. The new me will worry less and trust more. The new me will cry less and laugh more. The new me will sleep a whole 8 hours. The new me will live life with passion and love.
I want to believe that the new me will stop having nightmares of being abused. Hopefully the new me will never think of suicide again.
Whatever the rest of my story looks like, I hope I am able to tell my story and give hope to others who have suffered trauma and abuse.
What you should know about my new life is that my story isn’t over. So, I’m going to keep trying to make my story have a happy ending.
Until next time – I am being MJ every day.